


Translation for 道別

by Kairu_KitsuneO, xxx83221



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Translation, Translation in English
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 04:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17052926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairu_KitsuneO/pseuds/Kairu_KitsuneO, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxx83221/pseuds/xxx83221
Summary: A translation fic for道別byxxx83221Eddie打算道別。Eddie wants to say goodbye.





	Translation for 道別

**Author's Note:**

> Author notes:  
> The author only watched the movie and read a little comics.

**I hate this _idea_ , Eddie. **A deep voice rings inside Eddie’s head.

“I know, my love,” Eddie nods, “I know.” He repeats.

 

They are sitting on the top of a skyscraper, Eddie’s feet swaying, dangling from the edge. He looks down at the busy night-time traffic. The red, white and yellow lamps join to form countless thin lines of light as they rush into the distance. They seem so lively, in contrast to the quiet up where they are. Eddie knows Venom likes the sky and the silence.

 

**Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed you to conquer your fear of heights.**

“Then I would have to think of another way to do this. Human beings are fragile after all.”

 

 **But we are strong, Eddie.** Venom says, **as long as we are still stronger-**

“That’s why I need your consent, Venom,” Eddie interrupts him.

 

**I am never, never ever going to agree to _this_.**

“Ok,” Eddie nods again. He lifts his head and stares at the dark night sky, starless because of the city’s light pollution. He tries to convey these feelings. These thoughts —that _thought_ – to Venom. He has been doing this for the past fifteen years.

 

**I don’t understand, Eddie. Is it because of we have no bad guys to eat anymore?**

“No. There will always be bad guys. See? We haven’t missed a criminal for hundreds of years.”

 

**Is it because of we have not found a new chocolate flavor in 357 years and 4 months?**

Eddie chuckles, “That’s more of a reason for you to have this feeling,”  

 

 **But I don’t. As long as I am still us then I will never have it.** Venom pouts.

Eddie can sense his anger. He knows Venom no longer threatens to eat him or do anything dangerous out of anger. Nowadays, the symbiote rarely yells at all. Maybe it’s because of the time that has passed, even Venom had learned to control his emotions. It is like he had grown old too, Eddie thinks.

**We won’t grow old, Eddie.**

“Yes, I know.” Eddie says in his soothing voice.

**And I won’t control my emotions, I will keep getting angry until we give up on this _idea_. **Venom rumbles furiously, **I am very angry because you didn’t dispel this _thought_ for our sake.**

“Venom…”

**Won’t you miss us?**

“Oh, I will, Venom.” Eddie mumbles as he shakes his head, “Of course I will.”

**Are you telling the truth?** Venom asks, full of sorrow.

 

“All of the scenery where we watched together,” Eddie says calmly, “The food and bad guys we’ve eaten together. All the adventures that we have experienced together... I love you,” Eddie adds. At the same time, he is thinking about his love for Venom in hundreds of years, so that his symbiote could feel it. Venom’s warmth vibrates gently inside him, “Of course I will miss them.” He says, lowers his head, “That’s why I have this _thought._ ”

**Is it because of you are bored?** Venom’s helpless voice gives Eddie a heartache, **then let’s go find another bad guy. There must be a more horrible villain…**

“There won’t be another one, Venom. We have been through them all.”

 

 **What if they really appear later?** Venom tries to argue, **there will be no one else besides us to save the Earth.**

“There will always be someone else. The Earth was like this long before we appeared. There is no reason for it to stop.”

 

 **But I still don’t understand.** Venom stubbornly tries to find the root of the problem, a habit that’s lasted for hundreds of years, **I can’t find the problem. Eddie, if you have any pain, I can fix it.**

“My body is fine. It is just… Just human beings can’t live for this long.”

 

**We can. We are Venom.**

“What I meant was… My soul can’t support me for so long. The human body and soul have an expiration date. Our body doesn’t, but my soul still does.”

 

 **I can’t find your so-called soul in your body.** Venom whines, **Is that thing making you having all of these thoughts? Then I hate it.**

Eddie laughs. He knew it would make Venom angrier, but he can’t help it. Venom can always differentiate clearly from his love and hate. This is the quality he love him the most.

 

**Then discard that _idea_.**

“You know I can’t.”

 

**If Anne were still here, she would definitely stop you from doing this. She would have a way to stop this, I know she would.**

“I wish she was alive too, Venom. And I wish Dan was still living, or their descendants were still here too.” Eddie closes his eyes, frowns as he can’t clearly remember Anne’s and Dan’s face. Neither their young self nor their old face show up in his mind. He can vaguely make out the outline of their son's face, but the rest are a blur.

 

**I can show you.**

Anne’s beautiful face appears before Eddie’s eyes. From the first time when Venom saw her young and energetic form, to her middle age, to her wrinkly face at old age, to her lying in the intensive care unit--

**I am sorry. That wasn’t my intention.**

“It’s ok,”

 

 **Now that you’ve remembered how she looked, can we drop that _idea_? ** Venom's tone is mixed with hope and despair. The former moved Eddie, while the latter made him feel bad.

He believes in Venom to be able to understand that his thoughts isn’t due to not remembering the faces of old friends; he had forgotten so many faces. But Venom persists to ask, as if he is holding onto every detail that might make Eddie given up on the _idea_. The realization of Venom being desperate, like a drowning man clinging onto the driftwood, stings Eddie in the chest.

 

**I am hurt when you are in pain. We are in pain, Eddie.**

“I’m sorry.” Eddie could only apologize, “Don’t be angry.”

 

**Eddie, I am scared. I am afraid we will not be us anymore. We are Venom. Without you, Venom will die.**

“I will help you find another suitable host.”

 

 **NO, you don’t _understand!_ **Venom roars, **Eddie, We are Venom, the one and only Venom! There is no one else!**

Eddie shuts his eyes. He often thought that their connection was one-sided, that only Venom could invade his mind and feel his emotion. But that wasn’t entirely correct, it went both ways. If not, how could every bit of sadness hidden in Venom’s scowling be cutting deeply though Eddie’s bones?

 

 **It hurts!** Venom screams, again and again, **we are in pain!**

Eddie hangs his head.

 **_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________** ___________________________ **  
**

The world keeps spinning. Life happens. Disasters and miracles come and go.

 

The people they know, have long gone and been forgotten.

 

They once saved a pregnant women in labor. The mother safely delivered with their help during a disaster - Eddie can’t remember the cause. But they watched that healthy baby be born, watched as it grew and then watched as it withered away with old age.

 

Eddie slowly realized that he couldn’t hold on to anything through the years, except Venom.

 

He thought he could endure this at first, he had nothing for most of his life, before he met Venom.

 

Maybe it all started when they saw that baby, watched him fall to time.

 

Eddie often feels that he and Venom are standing on a towering and isolated cliff, while the bottom is a land where disasters occur at any time. They look down at the land, occasionally meddling with the things below, and then continue to stay up on the cliff. They watched the people they had saved still die in the end. The things they had tried to maintain eventually collapsed. Eddie convinced himself in the early years that added decades of lifespan is a luxury for an average person, so their efforts are not in vain. Nonetheless, the longer he lives, the more death he has to see, the harder to feel the weight of a person's life for decades.

 

It made him felt less of a human being. It made him feel sad.

 

 **Never mind,** Venom comforts, **we are Venom. Human or not, I love us.**

_I love us too._ Eddie mutters in his heart.

 

**Then don’t let us die.**

Eddie remains silent.

 **_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________** ___________________________

He makes a phone call to Carlton.

 

They and Carlton have been fighting each other for about three hundred years. Carlton and Riot had tried countless plans to invade the Earth with more symbiotes. Eddie and Venom prevented these countless plans countless times. In the end, the Earth and humanity never go extinct like Carlton had expected: Science has found one solution after another for population explosion, energy depletion, and cancer. The world won’t cease to work without Carlton and his research. So what happened to Eddie happened to Carlton too. A scientist who hoped to save the world, has gradually dissociated from it.

 

They realize they are both tired. Their souls are decaying.  Eddie had once wondered how Riot would react to this. But they are the same as him and Venom now, lingering on Earth like a lost cause.

 

“Hey.”

“Hello, Eddie. Have you dispelled that _idea_ yet?”

“Nope. How about you? You’ve always been the one to adapt better than us.”

“To tell you the truth, I’d started to have the same idea too. Although this immortal life is what I have always dreamt of.”

“…ohh”

“Riot wasn’t happy, very unhappy, actually.”

“Venom too. So what is your plan?”

“I want to send Riot home. But he refused.”

“If you’re going to do that, can you call me? Maybe Venom can hitch a ride.”

 

**Please don’t, Eddie.**

“When Riot agrees, I will.”

 

**No, he won’t agree.**

 

“Thanks, it’s a deal.” Eddie cuts the line. Venom wraps around him tightly.

 **_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________** ___________________________

**Collecting all flavor of chocolate and tater tots in the world isn’t going to change my mind. Going sightseeing around the world won’t change it, either.**

“I know. But, hey, look on the bright side. You like chocolate. You like Earth, too.”

 

**I like you more than chocolate. I like Earth because you are here.**

 

“Earth can always be your home even when I’m gone.”

 

**There is no home without you.**

 

Eddie stays silent.

 

 **Eddie,** Venom asks weakly, **are you making us try everything for the last time? Does that mean we are dying?**

“Venom…”

 

**I feel like we are dying.**

Eddie embraces Venom’s physical form. Venom is shivering. Eddie carefully strokes Venom to calm him down.

**__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

**This is the second thing I dislike after that _thought_.** Venom says.

 

They are in India. They have already enjoyed half of the world's chocolates. Eddie suddenly has this idea when he looks at the Taj Mahal. He is half happy and half sad.

 

“This way you can stay as Venom. Because we are still together. And if I want to have a way to die, I think this would be perfect.”

 

**No. That is a terrible way to die, Eddie. All death is terrible.**

“And this is better. You are the most important thing in my world, Venom, and really the only thing I care about. We have seen many people die insignificantly or sacrifice themselves in vain. I don’t want that. This way I know I die meaningfully. My death can provide energy to my beloved,” he explains, before he jokes, “Didn’t you always say that I looked delicious?”

 

Venom is quiet. Eddie knows he is protesting.

 

“I won’t force you to do it, Venom. I need your permission, because this is about us. Please never reluctantly promise me. You must wait until you can accept this.” Eddie murmurs.

 

Eddie knows Venom’s agony. He certainly knows; Venom is him, they are Venom. He is terrified that Venom will agree because it’s what Eddie wants, and the regret afterwards would definitely crush the symbiote. Because Eddie knows if their position were switched, that burden of regret would surely shatter him.

 

**That’s why I will never agree. I won’t let us die. I promised you when we were on the motorcycle that day.**

Venom feels anguish. He should be angry. He should be crazy. He should be arguing - but he can also feel the exploding pain on Eddie's chest. He can't be harsh to Eddie.

 

**We will die. Only half of us left. Only left… Left…**

Venom’s voice is getting smaller and smaller. Eddie feels like he can’t breathe.

 **_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________** ___________________________ **  
**

Venom finally understands why Eddie had that horrifying idea when they reached somewhere in Arabia.

 

Venom covers Eddie’s body before the explosion. Venom is afraid of fire, but he had to protect Eddie. He’s been doing this for the past hundreds years. The symbiote blocks most of the intense heat from Eddie. The blast doesn’t affect him much. Not that it matters, because he has enough energy for a swift recovery after eating that kamikaze bomber.

 

“Venom…” Eddie calls out to him. Their surroundings are full of shots of pain and cries for help. Almost everyone has burns. Some have lost their limbs. Others are faceless. A girl cries for her father. A mother sits expressionless with a silent baby in her hands.

 

“Venom,” Eddie whispers, “Feel me, feel what I am feeling now.” 

 

Venom obeys.

 

Venom notices Eddie’s calmed heart. There is no sympathy for the victims. There is no hatred for the bomber. Venom is stunned. He didn’t expect this from Eddie.

 

The Eddie that Venom knew wasn’t like this before. Eddie was a journalist though he has never been courageous (guns and heights can scare him to raise his hands in surrender), he has always had a strong sense of justice. Whenever he sees suffering and injustice, he feel angry and frustrated; he will fight for the victims. Even if it seems like there is no hope, he will take up his pen; type on his keyboard; using words to strike down those wicked people and defeat their reputation. This had happened hundreds of years ago, even before Venom appeared in his life.

 

Venom finally understands. This is the reason why Eddie has those awful _thoughts_. He has lost his sense of justice, his heart. He has lost his concern for the world. These are the qualities that made Eddie, Eddie. Venom acknowledges his discovery in despair, Eddie is right – He can’t fix this.

 

Eddie’s soul, the hot-blooded journalist spirit, the justice heart ---- has reached its expiration date.

 

 **What does it matter? We ate the bad guy.** Venom speaks softly, **this is justice. We are still a hero. We are full. We are alive. Isn’t that good enough?** Venom asks hopelessly, **are we not good enough?** Venom wishes in vain that what he sees in Eddie's head is actually wrong.

 

“No,” Eddie clamps his eyes shut, “It’s me. _I am the one who isn’t good enough.”_

 

Venom can hardly stand the violent grief from both Eddie and himself. Their grief. He realizes that Eddie really wants to be separated from him.

  **Eddie…. I am in pain.** Venom cries.

 

Venom shrinks himself into the size of a small ball on Eddie’s chest.

 

Not us anymore, there won’t be us anymore. Venom is going to die, because he can’t fix it.

**__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

They are lying on the surgery table inside Carlton’s lab. There is a breathing body beside them. A human vessel which guaranteed a prefect symbiosis with Venom ---- not entirely human because this body has no self-awareness. It is just a container.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Eddie asks.

 

 **You leave me no choice.** Venom says. He is already dead inside even before they begin.

 

“Venom… I don’t want to force you.”

Venom knows Eddie is telling the truth because he can feel the heartbreak in his host’s body. But it just makes Venom furious, miserable. This is unfair, only he can feel Eddie, he wants Eddie to experience his feelings too. Maybe… But that will definitely make Eddie change his mind.

 

Venom doesn’t have a choice.

 

He cuts off Eddie's pain receptors.

 

“You can start from a less deadly part,” Eddie suggests. “If you change your mind half way through, you can always just fix me,” he says softly.

 

Venom doesn’t respond to him. He roams in Eddie's body and slowly slips through every inch of tissue he has become so familiar with. He starts from the liver and gently takes the first bite. He recalls the time when he had bitten off small part of Eddie's liver out of anger, and then found out that the liver injury wouldn’t cause pain. He was annoyed for a while. Eddie was angry at first but then he started laughing when he found out what had happened. At that time Eddie's soul was fine, he thinks. Those time when they, Venom, were still contented.

 

Venom gives up on eating the liver and turns to the stomach. He always ate the content instead of the organ itself. He used to throw tantrums and ordered Eddie to eat a lot of chocolate and tater tots, ignoring how the human would be tired of these foods. Eddie would then lose his temper and argue that they had no money, but in the end he would always give in to Venom’s demands. There was one time when Venom wanted to eat raw meat, so they borrowed money from Dan and went to Japan for the horse meat sashimi. It was an enjoyable trip, and they began to fall in love with exploring the world. Now, no amount of chocolate, tater tots or raw meat can make them happy again. He misses the days when there was chocolate and Eddie.

 

Venom only eats a little bit of the epidermis, not even to the degree of gastric perforation.

 

He reaches Eddie's lower abdomen and stops by the bladder. He thinks about the time when they had just bonded, Eddie always complained that he couldn’t pee when Venom was watching. At that time Eddie had not adapted to being ‘we’. Venom wanted to help so he squeezed the urine-filled organ. As a consequence, Eddie was infuriated and swore to never speak to him again. Later Venom promised to help Eddie to get an exclusive story by possessing a small animal. He was unsure what to do, so he brought back some notes from some office building by chance. Eddie was overjoyed after seeing it, so they were back to being happy again. That was when he could bargain with Eddie’s thoughts.

 

Further down is a paradise for both of them. Venom relives the memory when they used those private organs together for the first time. He was extremely cautious, because he learned that humans value the compatibility of the partner, just as the Symbiotes value the perfect symbiosis with their host. He carefully used the lightest force to mate with Eddie. Eddie smiled. “Hey, buddy, I am not a virgin. We are Venom,” he hushed softly, stroking the tendrils wrapped around him. “We can go wild. We can take it.”

He said, we.

We, us, ours.

Venom quickly flees from the lower abdomen.

 

Eddie's lungs reminds him of his breathing. Human breathing is warm, but no one can breathe warmer than Eddie. Eddie's heart is the most powerful war drum during their fights against villains; and emits the most enticing rhythm when they mate. Venom can see his reflection in Eddie's eyes; He later understood that he is not good-looking according to the aesthetics of the Earth; Appearance is the most important consideration for human beings when choosing a spouse. He always pondered why Eddie was willing to choose him as a partner. But every time he gazed into Eddie's eyes, his insecurity would disappear, as long as he saw his reflection and felt the _love_ projected from Eddie's eyes.

 

Eddie's brain looks as delicious as ever, but Venom has long since disregarded it as food. The human brain will constantly erase the old memories to make room for new ones. However Eddie always forgets the people and things they encountered, only the memories with Venom are well preserved: to be relived and relished from time to time. Eddie's brain is different from other human beings. It is their treasure vault. Venom protects it, like a dragon guarding his treasure. The dragon's treasure are golds and jewels, while Venom’s treasures are Eddie's calls to him in the fire; Eddie's helpless eyes on the bag of chocolate in the shopping cart; them lying on the sofa insulting Carlton on the TV; their hug; their kiss; Eddie’s smile; Eddie’s angry face; Eddie’s, theirs, Venom’s.

 

 _Start from the non-fatal part,_ Eddie had said so. But Venom feels that every bite on Eddie will take his own life.

 

 **Eddie…. Eddie….** He materializes a tentacle out of Eddie's body. Eddie catches him.

 

“Don’t be afraid,” Eddie coos, “I promise you, we will always be Venom. You protect me, I feed you. Nothing will change. But I need you to do one more thing for me, my love,” his thumb caresses the black limb that holding onto him, “Please protect my soul…” he closes his eyes.

 

**We are Venom.**

“We are Venom.” Eddie nods and smiles. He feels the tentacles latched onto his heart.

 

**Goodbye, Eddie.**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________** ___________________________

The world thinks that Carlton is sending away another expedition team at takeoff, but it is actually Riot.

 

Riot watches from outside as Venom goes onboard the rocket. Riot once had planned to go aboard this rocket and bring back more of his kind for invasion. But that plan didn’t matter anymore.

He doesn’t wish Venom’s fate for his kind.

 

“Venom, I…” Riot frowns, “I take back all the times I said that you are a loser, I….” he hesitates a while before he speaks again, “I couldn’t do what you have done.”

 

Venom glances back at him. If it was before when Riot said this to him, he would definitely be excited – proudly entangled with Eddie to share the smugness with him. At this moment, the spiritless blackness rolls in the host’s eyes. _Eddie_. He takes a deep inhale.

 

“I am not Venom,” the vessel says, sounding as if it is going to break at any time. “Venom is dead.”

 

Riot looks at him, pauses again before he nods.

**__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

The entity in the rocket overlooks at the sea blue planet. He is getting farther and farther away from it.

 

He is getting farther and farther away from _him_.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Thank you [Strozzzi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butmicoooool/pseuds/Strozzzi) for beta & proofread my translation!
> 
> Kudos and Comment are appreciated!  
> Please kudos the [original fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16878603) too ❤❤ The author is amazing !
> 
> By Translator Kairu_KitsuneO


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